Happy New Year!

Or: The First Food Crime of 2010. Rare beef tenderloin, and leftover horseradish mashed potatoes, shaped into patties and slowly browned in duck fat.

And the obligatory Hot Vegetable (actually those were some really good green beans.)

In our humble opinions, it would have been a far worse crime to NOT put that duck fat to some kind of use.

Bacon Buck-Eyes

Yah. That's right. Chocolate-covered peanut butter balls containing brittle-crisp bits of bacon. Timmeh came up with this mad genius idea.

(Full disclosure: the bacon is not Nueske's, but another satisfactory brand. However, I need to deploy this idea with the exquisitely smoky Nueske's next time I lay my hands on some.)

I'm considering submitting this to This Is Why You're Fat.

Treats (Part 3) and Merry Christmas!

Pistachio Baklava with Orange-Cardamom Syrup

Unfortunately, the recipe is not on line (at least not yet). But we saw it in the latest Bon Apetit mag. Tim said 'I was hoping you would notice that.' He looooooooves baklava. I haven't made it since his 40th birthday. So after he left for work Wednesday night, I got out the supplies and started constructing it. I surprised him by sending a pic to him at work as soon as I pulled it out of the oven.

Assembly is pretty standard (10 layers of phyllo and butter, then a thick layer of nuts, sugar and spices [I goofed and put the cardamom in with the cinnamon and pistachios, instead of in the syrup], 10 more layers, more nuts, and then a final 10 layers). It takes at least an hour standing there, layering and brushing, so that's why I've only made baklava twice. But oh, is it ever pretty and puffy and crackly-crisp when it comes out of the oven. And so tasty. The tangy orange syrup really adds a unique touch. The recipe comes from Molly Wizenberg.

ETA 12/31/09: Here's the Bon Appetit link.

Treats (Part 2)

"Moosewood Lodge" Pine Cone Cheese Ball


5 or 6 8-oz packages light cream cheese
1 8 oz package shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1 bunch green onions, finely chopped
about 1 tablespoon smoked hot paprika, more or less to taste
about 1 pound Nueske's applewood smoked bacon
4-5 cups whole almonds, toasted and divided
1 cup pecans, toasted.

Dice bacon and saute' slowly until most of the fat is rendered off, and bacon is dark brown. Drain fat, blot bacon with paper towel, and cool. Place in food processor or chopper and process until finely chopped.

Place about 1 cup of the almonds and the 1 cup of pecans in food processor or chopper and process until finely chopped.

In a large bowl, combine cream cheese, Monterey Jack, onions, paprika, bacon and the chopped nuts. Blend until thoroughly combined. With hands, shape mixture into two roughly tear-drop shaped balls, and press onto two serving plates. Take remaining almonds and press lightly into cheese. Start at wide end of ball and continue toward pointed end, making them all the same direction, aimed toward the point, resembling a pine cone.

Garnish with rosemary sprigs (pine branches).

Makes two big old cheese balls. Serve with crackers or sturdy bread.

It's the smoky Nueske's bacon that makes it soooo good.

I served these for our Christmas party on the 12th, and took one to work. It went over quite well. I made cheese balls like this years ago. Don't know why I thought of doing it now, but it seemed appropriate for the time and the decor.

Treats (Part One)

One of my favorite Christmas cookies. A childhood favorite mom says came out of a Pillsbury Bake-off cookbook a long time ago.

Buttermint Tuck-ins

1/2 C oleo, softened
1 1/2 C firmly packed brown sugar
3 ounces cream cheese, softened
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
2 envelopes premelted unsweetened chocolate
(or substitute 3 Tb unsweetened cocoa plus 1 Tb vegetable oil for each envelope)
2 C flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 C buttermints (about 36)

Preheat oven to 375F

In a large mixer, combine oleo, brown sugar, cream cheese, vanilla, egg and chocolate. Blend at low speed; beat at medium speed until light and well mixed. Blend in flour, salt and soda (mix first in separate bowl); mix until combined. Drop by rounded spoonfuls 2 inches apart onto greased cookie sheets. Press a buttermint into each cookie, carefully smoothing dough over mint to cover. Bake 8-10 minutes until cookies are slightly firm. Cool slightly before removing from cookie sheet.

Notes:

Can you even find oleo any more?? This recipe is an oldy but goody, probably from WWII days or shortly thereafter, when oleo everywhere (or all there was available). In our time, butter is plentiful, and the fat of choice. Hard to remember a time when there was a true shortage of anything in this country.

Also the melted baking chocolate envelopes are a thing of the past. I use the solid unsweetened chocolate these days. An even softer cookie would probably result from using the oil and cocoa substitute.

Parchment paper instead of grease is the only way to go, as far as I'm concerned.

If you can fit two buttermints in the cookie, so much the better. I find it easier to just pick up a small amount of dough and roll it in my hands with the mints inside for smooth, complete coverage.

Hoopdee-doo. And Dickory-Dock. Don't Forget To Hang Up Your Sock.

Tomorrow all will be merry and bright. But for the moment, a small holiday rant:

---F***ing stores that issue coupons only good for two f***ing days. Substantial coupons. Two. F***ing. Days. I was 7 hours too late. 'Santa Bucks', you call them. 'Santa Sucks' is what I say.

---Retailers? I care about your bottom line equally as much as you've cared about mine for the last few years. Truly. From the bottom of my heart.

---Walmart, I am sick and tired of your flooding every TV channel with your endless commercials. You rule. Yay. We know.

---Sugar ought to be labeled as a mood-altering drug. Can't....seem...to...stop.......want.....more.....cookies....fudge...hot chocolate...

---The damned meno-pot is coming back (see preceding item)

---WNIC, I'm starting to hate you and your 16-song playlist. Which you've been playing around the clock since NOVEMBER 1ST. Add a few more from the absolute WEEKS of Christmas music that are out there, why dontcha?? When someone specifically requests Burl Ives' 'Silver and Gold', what do you play in response? 'Holly Jolly Christmas'. Because apparently that's the only selection you have. I'm telling you, someone in the Detroit metro area is going to get pulled down from a bell-tower holding a high-power rifle humming 'Holly Jolly Christmas' over and over and over...

---Deep down, something twisted in me wants the composer of 'The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year' to have been previously abused and/or sodomized, and the song is a complete fake.

---I SO thought hot flashes in the winter would be the most awesome thing ever. I am beyond disappointed.

---Normally being ignored by management is a good thing. But this time of year? You really ARE being ignored by management.

---F***ing work policy of having to burn 8 hours of your own supply of PTO for your assigned holidays off. I don't f***ing need a Wednesday off. But I guess if you're bound and determined to make me take it off, I'm gonna spend it drinking alcohol, eating sugar and running with scissors.

Exposing The Imposter

It had to be done.

It's like 'Other Brand' cream-filled sandwich cookies compared to the almighty Oreo. Just not the same. Ever. Surprisingly, the ingredient lists are not all that different. But the Large Chain Grocery Store brand has this wonky fake-vanilla, industrial flavor. And they're too sweet.

I will never stray again...

Now What?

OK, so the big Christmas party is over. From what I've heard since then, it seems everyone had a good time, and it was a success. BUT: it's still not Christmas yet, and life goes on. So there's still crap to do. Always crap to do.

Christmas shopping? Very bipolar at this point. Much of it was done months ago, during the summer. I picked up stuff for German friends, and that's been long sent. However, for people near and dear, ideas, inspiration and purchases are totally lacking. We tried to rectify that yesterday by going on a meandering, all-day drive to several malls and favorite food emporiums. It was a LOT of fun. But we didn't bring too much into the house at the end of the day. I guess that's not such a bad thing. I don't think the pantry and fridges could hold any more stuff anyway. We've got obscene amounts of food on the premises left from the party.

Still, we found a few items, and got some ideas. And decided what we DON'T want to buy. The loss of all monetary perspective this time of year is like a disease. It's accelerated by all the obnoxious commercials on TV and radio. Walking through several large malls yesterday reminded us why we don't set foot in these places more than once or twice a year. Monday crowds and pushy salespeople were considerable. We imagined what these places would look like on a Saturday. We mostly went to window-shop and take in the mall decorations and lights. I enjoyed looking at the pretty price tags, too. As we picked up stuff and put it back down, I kept wondering what things would have the most meaning for the people in our lives. Very few, if any, things registered on our radars when put to that test. We just couldn't get excited about stuff.

I suppose we'll come up with solutions in the next couple weeks. There is still time to do some comparison and on-line shopping.

I was actually considering the idea of buying a turducken. What Christmas gift do you get for the guy (Tim) who never wants anything? But after seeing their astronomical prices and not finding them readily available, there came that abrupt 'stop everything' record-scratch noise in my brain, and I thought: why not just buy an inexpensive turkey breast, some inexpensive chicken breasts and a duck breast and FRIGGING MAKE ONE??

I did manage to come up with a solution to use up several pounds of shredded chicken meat and piles of rapidly staling leftover party crackers. A creamy chicken casserole-gratin thing is waiting in the fridge to be baked tonight for dinner.

And we've acquired another piece of Moosewood Lodge decor. In 5 or 6 months, we will have the pelt of one of these:


(photo credit: quickeye at Weather Underground)

Yesterday on the way to drop off the truck for an oil change and a coolant leak repair, we came across an unfortunate, minutes-old casualty right in the middle of the road. We were not about to let the curious stares of passers-by stop us from making good use of something that would otherwise go destroyed. Yes, it was gross. Yes, we felt bad for the little beast. Yes, it's a little bit of money for taxidermy services. But you can be sure if we hadn't picked it up, someone else would have.

At the moment, it is now dark out. The dishwasher stands open, half emptied. Wrinkled, wadded laundry is still overflowing in baskets to be put away in the bedroom. I have crossed ONE thing off my 'to do' list. It's my last day off work, and all the stuff I hoped to get done is still undone. On the other hand, I have logged some serious ass-on-couch time, cat-on-lap time, and I think I actually, maybe, possibly have gotten adequate sleep the last couple days. That in itself feels so weird I'm not sure I like it.

It's only 6pm, there's still plenty of time left to get stuff done today. Right?