Okay People, I'm F***ing Sick Of This

Guess what I'm doing right now? Eating cold beef short ribs and mashed potatoes at 0230. Why 0230? Because I was sound asleep at 2000 the evening before, at the time we'd planned to consume this repast. Preferably hot. Preferably as a married couple enjoying a Sunday dinner.

Surprised it took this long to see a negative post about the whole remodel project?

I guess I didn't think the sound of the wood sander still going at 1700 would bother me as much as it did today. Certain sounds are like fingernails on a chalkboard, and today that sound hit that really bad, bad, bad resonance. It was so bad I almost thought about crying. My one day off in the middle of nearly two weeks of work, and I'm so tired I could almost cry over nothing right about now. Then I started thinking about the weeks ahead and the things that are planned, and I almost did lose it over the thought that I may not get any decent sleep until June. I like to say sleep is highly overrated, but...I really was looking forward to some today, followed by a nice quiet dinner cooked by Tim.

All right, yes, I got some sleep. I finally fell asleep at around 1900 and slept all the way through until a little after 0200. Not half bad. I guess right at this moment I don't have a whole lot to complain about any more.

Yes, I could have marched downstairs in the afternoon, and said something to the effect of 'Put down the f***ing sander, back up slowly toward the door with your hands over your head and GET. OUT.' John's a bit of a surly 20-something, but overall a nice kid. The sight of Mrs. Homeowner in her bathrobe and snarly hair in a righteous pique might have been too much for him.

But I think I will back Karl up against a wall this morning and ask him precisely what he means when he says 'We won't be here all day'. What does that mean, Karl? That you won't be here until 9pm? Okay, I thought it was adorable when he told me he wouldn't be here at all on Friday, but showed up anyway right at the precise moment I get home from work. Then followed this short job-site visit with a phone call 15 minutes after he left, which was mostly about nothing. But today? Not quite so cute. He tells me he can see me thinking. Well, he's going to see it again real soon, and hear me say exactly what I'm thinking. Which is nothing less than what he's asked me to do.

The other thing I mean to ask him about is the precise location of all the cigarette butts that have been smoked over the last 6 weeks. I haven't seen any, so I assumed they were being disposed of properly. The guys can smoke. I'm all right with it, as long as it's outside. They can smoke themselves right to a happy case of lung cancer, if they like. None of my business. But I happened to look out the bathroom window today and saw the tile guy's assistant flip one into my daffodils at the edge of the yard. All right: Mrs. Homeowner is NOT having any of that. Since I was also in my bathrobe at the time, I carefully weighed the pros and cons of marching out there and making him eat it on the spot...and decided not to. True, it could be said I'm not providing everything I could be. Such as an ashtray. But see, that's a little hard to come up with since there is normally *never* a frigging need for one on this property.

Oh, and the other thing that was on my mind today was that all our hand sanitizer is probably buried in the furnace room right now, or in the camper. Why in the hell am I worried about hand sanitizer? Well, one day we noticed one of the guys making a trip out behind the storage shed. Hey, I camp. Our sites are usually far, far away from modern facilities. I totally understand how it is sometimes. And really, I'm mostly okay with this. But as job-site hostess, the part of me responsible for hospitality is deeply hurt. Guys, we have three bathrooms in the house. They all work great. I've been working very, very hard to keep the small one at the top of the basement stairs clean so it's fit for Team Toolbelt to use. Really, it's not just Karl's room. Everyone's free use it. But it occurs to me I could put a bottle of hand sanitizer in a conspicuous spot out behind the shed. Just as a little 'wink-wink', 'I see you' sort of hint.

The real rub is that I keep hearing occasional hints that this whole project might not even be 100% done by the time we want to have our big 'unveiling' the first weekend in May when we have Bryan and Chris here. So I hardly feel I can do anything to slow the work down by even a few hours. Karl's been a maniac trying to get this done. He's been here 7 days a week, including Easter. But if we've gone through all these weeks of noise and sleep deprivation only to not have it all done...

Mrs. Homeowner not happy right now.

Okay. I think I'll run a brush through my hair and start searching the house for a coffee can or something that might serve as a suitable ash tray, and print up a sign with the word 'BUTTS'. And look for that damn hand sanitizer.