*Phew!!!*

Good Lord, I hate making phone calls. Even regular ones. But one that's potentially hairy and uncomfortable...get me the hell out of it any way possible.

Case in point: I just got off the phone with my aunt. My only aunt. The one that's estranged from my mom. Tim and I and my brother Bryan had stopped in to visit the grandparents Saturday, and since my aunt works just down the street at a florist shop, we stopped in to see her too. Bryan only gets back to Michigan every few years, so he tries to make the rounds with everyone.

Well, I put my foot right into several touchy subjects (namely how well grandma and grandpa are being taken care of, and the estrangement with mom). The visit ended abruptly with aunt Mary walking out and leaving the three of us standing there in the flower shop in uncomfortable silence.

We went downtown Frankenmuth and had a beer at Tiffany's, and tried to analyze what the hell had happened. While her behavior was incredibly rude and childish, I realized the comments I had made had probably been taken as criticism of the job she was doing. Not good. I'd said something about the dirty carpet and the overpowering smell in the house, and she told me with a smile before turning her back on us that I was quite welcome to bring a carpet cleaner and have a go at it myself. *winces*

I also had come right out and asked her if she ever though of calling up mom and burying the hatchet for the sake of taking care of grandma and grandpa. Hey, we'd all been curious for the last 2 years, and we'd only heard mom's side of the story of the Great Falling Out. Before I'd even gotten the question out of my mouth, her answer was 'No!'. Then she proceeded to tell us what a pain in the ass mom was, how much better her life was without her in it, and how she'd try to take over everything and be no help whatsoever in taking care of their parents. All possibly legitimate points, to which we offered no argument.

My plan for getting the two sisters reconciled...see that big old mushroom cloud of smoke?? There it is. At least I know now that any attempt I would have made probably would not have worked. I'd actually scheduled an appointment with a psychologist earlier in the summer to ask how I might go about this. I think we're just going to leave things as they are. What surprised me was not the animosity we saw, but the proudly defiant intensity of it. I ain't gonna touch that with a 10-foot pole any more.

Anyway, I thought I really needed to smooth things over, so I called her tonight, and I apologized. And everything is OK now. She flat out told me she is getting overwhelmed, and things like the carpet are pretty low on her list.

I guess our plan of action is to keep doing what we're doing, and make regular visits to bring food and do some clean-up chores when we're there. And keep the doors open in case we are called upon to help with more.

I just still hate this excruciating, decades-old family feud crap. Hate it. So goes my feeble attempt to do battle with it.