Thanks For The Laugh, Loser

I'm not one to cry much. I'll do it once a year, if necessary. Less, if possible. But I don't laugh out loud very often either. For that to happen, there has to be the right combination of people I like nearby, or the particularly right or strange humor present.

This morning I did a complete 180. From nearly crying or at least thinking about it, to a full out laugh. In the space of about 30 seconds.

I should explain. Last week a uniquely terrible incident happened at work that has the entire lab rattled. One of my coworkers completely lost control on the job and attacked another of my coworkers.

As of this morning, we still have no answers. Literally and figuratively. Management is being its usual tightmouthed, uninformative and unhelpful entity. Personally I'm much more upset about it now than when I first found out about it.

So there I am, driving home from another busy night, feeling underappreciated, overworked, kept in the dark, upset, scared, worried about both coworkers, angry about possibly not being allowed to take a long-planned vacation in April...very much minding my own business on the road. Feeling like all this might be a pretty damn good excuse for a cry. It gradually occurs to me a brown Malibu (license #78M-KO6) is pacing me on my left. FINALLY I glance over and down--and end up doing a double take. I did *NOT* just see a big fat guy spanking his monkey while driving. Did NOT!!!

Yes, I did.

Sometimes driving a truck lets you see a bit too much.

Should I call 911 and report this? Is this worth a 911 call? Then it hit me, and I started laughing. Out loud. Like guffawing.

I had my hand over my mouth, and this struck me as even more funny, because who the heck was looking at my face? Certainly not the guy next door, who was thoroughly occupied at the moment. Still, I really hope he saw me laughing and realized what I was laughing at.

In the end, I never did call dispatch. It wasn't like he was driving erratically. In fact, other than a tendency to live in the left lane, he held the road pretty darn arrow straight. Ummm...years of practice, maybe? It was me who was swerving all over my lane as I was cracking up and reaching for my phone. And the thought of explaining what I'd seen to a dispatcher...

Hey pervert, hope ya crash and remove yourself from the gene pool and our eyes. In the mean time, thanks for the laugh!