Stuff

Every time I wonder if I'm going perimenopausal, I make myself stop and think. No physical symptoms yet. Does it start in your head first? Hmmm... One has to wonder.

Stress must be the explanation for why I can be both giddy and miserable in the space of 1.3 seconds lately. Demure yet full of swagger and cuss words. Why I've given great and lengthy thought about crying in the last few weeks (and horrified that I'm going to do it in a completely inappropriate time and place). But could just as easily be laughing at the same time. Why I needed to have a little chat with the house supervisor the other morning because it was observed that I 'seemed a little stressed-out and short with people'. Why I was so angry with a doctor's ignorant behavior the other night I was actually shaking.

My face is breaking out in spite of barrages of anti-acne chemicals. And Bare Escentuals makeup just is not quite covering up the purple baggage under my eyes. I know people love this stuff, but sorry---it only does so much.

Did I mention I do not particularly look forward to going to Anaheim CA right about now?

The weather was utterly gorgeous about noonish today. Who wants to leave that? Birds singing, brilliant sunshine, blue sky, daffodils nodding... Both sides of the basement French doors thrown wide open. Well, that was mostly to vent the fumes from the wood sealer Tim and Karl were painting on the paneling today. They got all the walls done. All that needs to be done is door faces and jambs, which Tim will do tomorrow. Karl has some miscellaneous things to work on like putting up the stove vent hood and the pendant lamps over the island. There's not much to keep him occupied for many more days here (see Crying, above).

Mocha Java seemed all right today when I visited him at the hospital. He seemed a little depressed, but that was probably because he was wearing a C-collar. I don't know what animal enjoys wearing what looks like a white plastic lamp shade around their neck. But he ate his whole dish of food when I talked him into it and drank half his bowl of water. Hopefully he can come home later today or Monday morning.

I've been walking the halls and stairs at work lately during my lunch break. I haven't been exercising at home lately, so it has to be done somehow, somewhere. This hospital is a big-ass building. I've gotten to see places I've never seen. I usually never leave the lab all night long. The beige Death Star isn't such a bad place at night. All the suits are gone and it's eerily quiet. Just the drone of TV's in deserted waiting areas. Nothing but you and the trees and plants in the 5-story atrium. Where does that curving carpeted hallway lead to? Whose office is that? I've never seen the view out that window before. I should have started doing this a long time ago.

NPR, you are one frustrating entity. You play the best music at night when I only have 30 minutes commute time to enjoy it, and then your website is a bit tricky to navigate. I think I may have tracked down the piece I was listening to on my way to work Friday. It may have been Mendelssohn's Hebrides Overture. Not sure. Whatever it was, it was wildly, outrageously romantic and I burned up the three minutes I'd left early so I could make it to work on time (and not get yet another tardy) so I could keep listening to it while parked in the hospital parking lot. It broke my heart to have to switch off the radio and run into the building (see Crying, above). If I listen to it again, I'm sure I'll enjoy it greatly. But sometimes when music happens at just the right time, it seems to mean so much more. Like when you are thinking about...stuff.